最近为一博导研究生修改了一篇题为Adsorption of Methylene Blue using FeCl₃-modified pomelo peel的论文，笔者随意摘取其中的七小段作为实例进行剖析，与读者分享部分修正过程与体会。

例一：Study on adsorption of Methylene Blue dye by FeCl₃modified pomelo peel

这是该篇论文的题目，需删掉其中的Study on。笔者还想借此再强调一下，在一般情况下题目中不需要“study on”“research on”。另外，以“using”替换“by”会更加强调这篇论文的核心成分“FeCl₃-modified pomelo peel”的重要作用。“FeCl₃”与“modified pomelo peel”需有“-”。因此，该题目应修改为：Adsorption of Methylene Blue using FeCl₃-modified pomelo peel。

例二：It was found that the adsorbed area of the modified pomelo peel was increased, mostly were mesoporous, and the pore size of 2-20 nm, were suitable for the passage of dye macromolecules.

这是摘要中的一句，语法结构“松散”，应修改为：It was found that the adsorbed area of the modified pomelo peel was increased, and most of the pores were mesoporous with sizes of 2-20 nm, which were suitable for the passage of dye macromolecules.这里需强调一下，因文中涉及的孔径大小是在一“范围”情况下，所以size应为复数形式sizes。

例三：The main component of printing and dyeing wastewater is MB, it is difficult to treat because of its small content, large Chemical Oxygen Demand (COD), stable property, difficultly detect and degrade.

这是引言中的一句，应修改为：The main component of printing and dyeing wastewater is MB, which is difficult to treat due to its small content, large Chemical Oxygen Demand (COD), stable property, and difficult detection and degradation.这里强调一下，原句中的detect和degrade应修正为其名词形式detection和degradation，以保持前后词性一致。

例四：In recent years, with the rapid development of industrial technology, the discharge of printing and dyeing wastewater is increasing, especially in the textile industry, and has become the focus of industrial wastewater treatment.

根据这句话的上下文以及作者的“强调”之意图，笔者认为将其修改为“With the rapid development of industrial technology in recent years, the discharge of printing and dyeing wastewater, especially in the textile industry, has increasingly become a major environmental issue”更为合适。

例五：…few people have studied the modification of pomelo peel to improve its decolorization effect. The existing modificated methods were complex. Huang adsorbed MB by natural pomelo peel directly. Violeta used orange peel to biological modification.

这段应修改为：…few researchers and experts have studied the modification of pomelo peel to improve its decolorization effect. The existing modified methods are complex. Huang, et al probed into the adsorption of MB by natural pomelo peel. Violeta, et al focused on the biological modification of orange peel.

例六：The adsorption kinetic model and isothermal model were achieved by fitting the data, and the thermodynamic parameters were calculated. In addition, the factors which had the greatest influence on the adsorption effect were obtained by principal component analysis.

假如adsorption kinetic model和isothermal model是作者自己建的，可以说“The adsorption kinetic model and isothermal model were built”。然而，这篇论文中的adsorption kinetic model和isothermal model是作者“借鉴”别人的，只是用实验获得的数据来“拟合”它们。另外，在英语中一般是parameters were obtained or got而不是parameters were calculated。所以，这段应修改为：The adsorption kinetic model and isothermal model were fitted by the data, and the thermodynamic parameters were obtained. In addition, the factors that had the greatest influence on the adsorption effect were got by principal component analysis.

例七：The thermodynamic parameters showed that the adsorption of MB molecules on pomelo peel was a spontaneous exothermic process which tended to be ordered and had physicochemical adsorption. Principal component analysis (PCA) showed that the factors of pH, dosage and contact time had a great influence on MB removal.

这段结构松散，语义零混，应修正为“The thermodynamic parameters showed that the adsorption of MB molecules on modified pomelo peel was of characteristics of physicochemical adsorption with a spontaneous exothermic process that tended to be ordered. Principal component analysis (PCA) indicated that pH, dosage and contact time had a great influence on MB removal”更好。